Are you a full-time caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia? A little breather may be just what you need.

Alzheimer's disease is life-changing for both those who are diagnosed and those close to them. Having a helping hand when you need it is key to keeping yourself, and your loved one living with dementia, healthy and happy.

When you need a break, consider adult day services.Not only is it good for you, but it’s good for your loved one. Adult Day Services offer people living with Alzheimer's and other dementias the opportunity to be social and to participate in activities in a safe environment.

Adult Day Services may be for you if:

• You are a full-time caregiver: Adult Day Services can provide a much needed break. While your loved one is at adult day, you'll have time to rest, run errands or finish other tasks.
• You work during the day: Adult Day Services can help you to balance a job with caregiving duties.
• You want a safe, caring environment for your loved one:  Adult Day Service is a chance for your loved one to share time with their peers. It provides a chance for them to be social and to participate in engaging activities such as music and exercise programs, as well as fun outings. 

Did you know that Woodside Place of Presbyterian SeniorCare Network offers Adult Day Services at its campuses in Oakmont (412-828-5600) and Manchester Commons (814-838-9191)? We are here to help!

Are you a full-time caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia? A little breather may be just what you need.

Alzheimer's disease is life-changing for both those who are diagnosed and those close to them. Having a helping hand when you need it is key to keeping yourself, and your loved one living with dementia, healthy and happy.

When you need a break, consider adult day services.Not only is it good for you, but it’s good for your loved one. Adult Day Services offer people living with Alzheimer's and other dementias the opportunity to be social and to participate in activities in a safe environment.

Adult Day Services may be for you if:

• You are a full-time caregiver: Adult Day Services can provide a much needed break. While your loved one is at adult day, you'll have time to rest, run errands or finish other tasks.
• You work during the day: Adult Day Services can help you to balance a job with caregiving duties.
• You want a safe, caring environment for your loved one:  Adult Day Service is a chance for your loved one to share time with their peers. It provides a chance for them to be social and to participate in engaging activities such as music and exercise programs, as well as fun outings. 

Did you know that Woodside Place of Presbyterian SeniorCare Network offers Adult Day Services at its campuses in Oakmont (412-828-5600) and Manchester Commons (814-838-9191)? We are here to help!

A daughter experiences the neighborhood from her mom's perspective
By Laurie Matlin

My 95-year-old mother has reached the limits of her patience with the daughter in her basement. As one of her nine children currently helping out, I take no personal offense. Even for people without dementia, COVID-19 can complicate a well-planned life.

“I’m going away,” she declares one mid-spring day. “Everyone in this place has something to do but me!” My dad and I have just emerged from his office from where we ordered groceries online. She doesn’t understand this new system, and she believes I have overstepped my role.

Mom finds her wool coat and struggles with its zipper. Dad leans in to see how he can help. They turn to me, and I quickly zip the uncooperative coat.

As a power play among younger people who might wish to exert control, running away can be particularly problematic for people with dementia like my mom. Yet here we are, Dad and I both acting as accomplices as if Mom were a temperamental kindergartner bound to return before dinner.

She reaches for her hat and scarf. “Do you want the red one?” Dad asks helpfully. She ignores him and grabs the gray hat with matching scarf. Strands of frizzy silver curls slip out from under her cap, and she slides red Keds onto her feet. Wearing the same sweat outfit she has donned over the past few days, she suddenly looks more youthful.

“You can’t come with me!” she barks at me. Dad pleads for her to reconsider.

“I’m going away,” she declares one mid-spring day. “Everyone in this place has something to do but me!”

“I’m just going for the mail,” I tell her. Stay non-confrontational, I whisper to Dad.

With Dad on one side and me on the other, she manages a step from the front door, then another step off the stoop. Her eyes narrow, and she begins a steady pace along the front sidewalk.

She pauses at the driveway. “Which way did Sam go?” she says aloud to no one. Sam was my late brother with Down syndrome who regularly walked to a bus stop for his job.

Mom looks left, starts in that direction, then stops.

“There’s neighbors there,” she speaks again to herself, allowing me privileged insight as to how her mind is working.

Following Closely Behind

She glances in the opposite direction and sees a hill. “That’s too high,” she says, and I marvel how one part of her is speaking for another part to hear. She resumes her original direction, but now crosses the street.

“Hi Fran!” Pauline, the neighbor she sought to avoid, waves after watching for a bit. Mom makes no acknowledgement, her feet pattering on the pavement. Ten feet behind her, I serve as her shadow in stealth. I smile at Pauline, shaking my head and pointing to my ears to suggest Mom’s hearing inadequacies.

I follow Mom down the hill and around the bend. Tracking her requires few skills attributed to private eyes; I could have practically stepped on the back of her shoe without being spotted. While systematically on guard, she is less capable of easily turning around.

The neighbor teen on his driveway peers momentarily at this odd-looking lady who is overdressed in temperatures approaching 80 degrees. He smirks, resuming the whump, whump, whump of his basketball before pivoting in an easy layup.

From the other side, the mail truck approaches. The mailman looks at Mom as if he’s unsure how he might be of help. While swift for a person her age, Mom walks gingerly, almost like a child with autism, her big toe angling up, and it is perhaps this rigidity that alerts the viewer that something is slightly off. Mom slows at the tree, grabbing a branch. She seems to wish to wait for the mail truck to pass before resuming her plan.

It is at that moment that she turns around and finds me standing at her back. “Hi Mom! What are you doing over here?” I feign happy surprise that our paths should cross at just this moment. The ruse seems to work. “I am heading over there,” Mom points with no rancor in her voice.

I fall in line with her pace and we turn down another street. “The road is closed that way. Maybe we need to go a different way,” I suggest, pointing to the diamond-shaped construction sign. She continues past the sign. We proceed as two toddlers locked in parallel play, aware but not working at all together.

A Walk She Needed

“Where are you going?” I ask after a bit.

“Sam walked this way to catch the bus. It took him downtown,” she explains.

“And then what?” I ask.

“Who knows?” she replies without pausing. She tolerates my presence, perhaps welcoming another mind to support her if things turn rough. I marvel at the workings of her plan, as if following breadcrumbs left by Sam in a different time when buses operated because that’s what buses are supposed to do.

“Why do you want to go downtown?” I ask.

“I want to get to the railroad. Where my father worked,” she explains. She has talked recently about her need to get to her father at the train station, a commuter system that no longer exists in our town. Her father died a half-century ago.

She says she needs to rest and maneuvers herself atop a a tree stump cut at waist level. She watches the birds and feels the breeze, then eventually gets up to walk again.

“You’ve come an awful long way,” I suggest.

“I thank you for walking with me,” she says so softly I lean to hear her words. She still doesn’t look at me, but her voice conveys warmth that surprises me.

No answer.

“I wonder if we might turn around,” I probe gently.

“I’d like to get to the top of the hill,” she starts and then seems to change her mind. She turns around, like Forrest Gump who abruptly ends after running across the country.

“I thank you for walking with me,” she says so softly I lean to hear her words. She still doesn’t look at me, but her voice conveys warmth that surprises me. There is something she needed in this, I realize.

Life Is More Than Just Staying Alive

We continue silently, less fast-paced than on the outward jaunt. She rests at times, but then starts moving again. She reaches the side door to the garage.

“Do you need a hand?” Dad’s face suddenly appears at the doorway, surely watchful for her return.

“No, I can do it myself.” Her voice is resolute but without confrontation. Still, she takes his hand, then ambles up two steps.

When she turns, her eyes suggest a glimpse of a larger world. Her autonomy expanded just a little, other parts loosened from more rigid bounds. In this moment, her opinions still matter and her inner compass is shaken to new life. She looks straight at me.

“Thank you, Laurie,”she says, as if for that moment she can see me as something more than the invader in her land.

Life is more than just staying alive, her presence seems to say. Like unsteady feet on pavement, uncertainties will always arise. “Let life happen to you,” the poet Rilke wrote more than a century ago. “Life is in the right, always.”

The dual punch of dementia and COVID-19 is not easy, not even one little bit. But if we pay attention, maybe there’s still something we can learn.

By Laurie Matlin

Laurie Matlin is on personal leave from her job as a hospital and palliative care chaplain resident while she helps to care for her parents. A former journalist, she has been keeping a video diary of what she calls a sacred time in her family's life.    

A daughter experiences the neighborhood from her mom's perspective
By Laurie Matlin

My 95-year-old mother has reached the limits of her patience with the daughter in her basement. As one of her nine children currently helping out, I take no personal offense. Even for people without dementia, COVID-19 can complicate a well-planned life.

“I’m going away,” she declares one mid-spring day. “Everyone in this place has something to do but me!” My dad and I have just emerged from his office from where we ordered groceries online. She doesn’t understand this new system, and she believes I have overstepped my role.

Mom finds her wool coat and struggles with its zipper. Dad leans in to see how he can help. They turn to me, and I quickly zip the uncooperative coat.

As a power play among younger people who might wish to exert control, running away can be particularly problematic for people with dementia like my mom. Yet here we are, Dad and I both acting as accomplices as if Mom were a temperamental kindergartner bound to return before dinner.

She reaches for her hat and scarf. “Do you want the red one?” Dad asks helpfully. She ignores him and grabs the gray hat with matching scarf. Strands of frizzy silver curls slip out from under her cap, and she slides red Keds onto her feet. Wearing the same sweat outfit she has donned over the past few days, she suddenly looks more youthful.

“You can’t come with me!” she barks at me. Dad pleads for her to reconsider.

“I’m going away,” she declares one mid-spring day. “Everyone in this place has something to do but me!”

“I’m just going for the mail,” I tell her. Stay non-confrontational, I whisper to Dad.

With Dad on one side and me on the other, she manages a step from the front door, then another step off the stoop. Her eyes narrow, and she begins a steady pace along the front sidewalk.

She pauses at the driveway. “Which way did Sam go?” she says aloud to no one. Sam was my late brother with Down syndrome who regularly walked to a bus stop for his job.

Mom looks left, starts in that direction, then stops.

“There’s neighbors there,” she speaks again to herself, allowing me privileged insight as to how her mind is working.

Following Closely Behind

She glances in the opposite direction and sees a hill. “That’s too high,” she says, and I marvel how one part of her is speaking for another part to hear. She resumes her original direction, but now crosses the street.

“Hi Fran!” Pauline, the neighbor she sought to avoid, waves after watching for a bit. Mom makes no acknowledgement, her feet pattering on the pavement. Ten feet behind her, I serve as her shadow in stealth. I smile at Pauline, shaking my head and pointing to my ears to suggest Mom’s hearing inadequacies.

I follow Mom down the hill and around the bend. Tracking her requires few skills attributed to private eyes; I could have practically stepped on the back of her shoe without being spotted. While systematically on guard, she is less capable of easily turning around.

The neighbor teen on his driveway peers momentarily at this odd-looking lady who is overdressed in temperatures approaching 80 degrees. He smirks, resuming the whump, whump, whump of his basketball before pivoting in an easy layup.

From the other side, the mail truck approaches. The mailman looks at Mom as if he’s unsure how he might be of help. While swift for a person her age, Mom walks gingerly, almost like a child with autism, her big toe angling up, and it is perhaps this rigidity that alerts the viewer that something is slightly off. Mom slows at the tree, grabbing a branch. She seems to wish to wait for the mail truck to pass before resuming her plan.

It is at that moment that she turns around and finds me standing at her back. “Hi Mom! What are you doing over here?” I feign happy surprise that our paths should cross at just this moment. The ruse seems to work. “I am heading over there,” Mom points with no rancor in her voice.

I fall in line with her pace and we turn down another street. “The road is closed that way. Maybe we need to go a different way,” I suggest, pointing to the diamond-shaped construction sign. She continues past the sign. We proceed as two toddlers locked in parallel play, aware but not working at all together.

A Walk She Needed

“Where are you going?” I ask after a bit.

“Sam walked this way to catch the bus. It took him downtown,” she explains.

“And then what?” I ask.

“Who knows?” she replies without pausing. She tolerates my presence, perhaps welcoming another mind to support her if things turn rough. I marvel at the workings of her plan, as if following breadcrumbs left by Sam in a different time when buses operated because that’s what buses are supposed to do.

“Why do you want to go downtown?” I ask.

“I want to get to the railroad. Where my father worked,” she explains. She has talked recently about her need to get to her father at the train station, a commuter system that no longer exists in our town. Her father died a half-century ago.

She says she needs to rest and maneuvers herself atop a a tree stump cut at waist level. She watches the birds and feels the breeze, then eventually gets up to walk again.

“You’ve come an awful long way,” I suggest.

“I thank you for walking with me,” she says so softly I lean to hear her words. She still doesn’t look at me, but her voice conveys warmth that surprises me.

No answer.

“I wonder if we might turn around,” I probe gently.

“I’d like to get to the top of the hill,” she starts and then seems to change her mind. She turns around, like Forrest Gump who abruptly ends after running across the country.

“I thank you for walking with me,” she says so softly I lean to hear her words. She still doesn’t look at me, but her voice conveys warmth that surprises me. There is something she needed in this, I realize.

Life Is More Than Just Staying Alive

We continue silently, less fast-paced than on the outward jaunt. She rests at times, but then starts moving again. She reaches the side door to the garage.

“Do you need a hand?” Dad’s face suddenly appears at the doorway, surely watchful for her return.

“No, I can do it myself.” Her voice is resolute but without confrontation. Still, she takes his hand, then ambles up two steps.

When she turns, her eyes suggest a glimpse of a larger world. Her autonomy expanded just a little, other parts loosened from more rigid bounds. In this moment, her opinions still matter and her inner compass is shaken to new life. She looks straight at me.

“Thank you, Laurie,”she says, as if for that moment she can see me as something more than the invader in her land.

Life is more than just staying alive, her presence seems to say. Like unsteady feet on pavement, uncertainties will always arise. “Let life happen to you,” the poet Rilke wrote more than a century ago. “Life is in the right, always.”

The dual punch of dementia and COVID-19 is not easy, not even one little bit. But if we pay attention, maybe there’s still something we can learn.

By Laurie Matlin

Laurie Matlin is on personal leave from her job as a hospital and palliative care chaplain resident while she helps to care for her parents. A former journalist, she has been keeping a video diary of what she calls a sacred time in her family's life.    

It can help you deal with stress, self-esteem and motivation in the pandemic
By Stephen L. Antczak

You’re probably familiar with your immune system — your physiological immune system, that is. It’s the one that sends white blood cells to dispatch with pathogens. But what about your psychological immune system? This is an especially important idea to think about now, in the time of COVID-19 and social distancing.

The term “psychological immune system” was coined by psychologists Daniel Gilbert, who is probably best known for his book Stumbling on Happiness, and Timothy D. Wilson, who is known for his research on self-knowledge. But the basic concept goes back to Sigmund Freud and his ideas regarding defense mechanisms, which were elaborated on by his daughter, Anna Freud, in her book, Ego and Mechanisms of Defense. In fact, “ego defense” is, at least for our purposes, a mechanism to protect the self, or self-image, from whatever threatens it.

A good way to think about the psychological immune system is provided by Emily Rosenzweig, senior behavioral scientist at Ochsner Health, a nonprofit academic health care system in Louisiana: “A range of mental processes triggered by a threat to our sense of self-esteem, self-worth and self-concept.”

What can threaten a person’s self-image, or their self-worth? How about being referred to as a “nonessential” worker?

What can threaten a person’s self-image or self-worth? Here’s an example: being referred to as a “nonessential” worker and told to stay home, losing a significant amount of income in the process.

Positive Self Talk

Here’s where you can use your psychological immune system to help. You can tell yourself that you are valuable to society, the current pandemic situation is temporary and the lives of many others are diminished, even if just a little bit, by your absence.

You should also admit to yourself that people can still live meaningful lives without you, and that’s OK, too. It doesn’t diminish your value as a human being.

Positive self-talk can be quite helpful. However, don’t overdo it.

For example, you wouldn’t want to tell yourself that without you being there, the lives of others are completely devoid of meaning and those people are just miserable. Knowing that’s probably untrue would likely make you feel worse.

“There’s a sweet spot,” says Rosenzweig. But, she adds, “you can’t deny existing negative emotions.” If you try to completely obliterate those negative emotions, however, you’ll probably wind up feeling worse as your brain produces counterarguments that undo your attempts to make yourself feel better.

Our Commitment to Covering the Coronavirus

We are committed to reliable reporting on the risks of the coronavirus and steps you can take to benefit you, your loved ones and others in your community. Read Next Avenue’s Coronavirus Coverage.

Less-Than-Ideal Coping Mechanisms

Being aware of your psychological immune system means you’ll be better able to recognize when it kicks in.

Think about the coping mechanisms you use in a stressful situation or when dealing with the difficulties life throws at you. Do you feel better when you pour yourself a glass of wine or three? Do you avoid dealing with things by binge watching Netflix?

Avoidance is one of your psychological immune system’s tactics, even though it may not be good for you in the long run. Like your physiological immune system, your psychological immune system can opt for the short-term fix over long-term wellness.

Not that drinking one glass of wine or watching two episodes of your favorite show are counterproductive. We all need some downtime. Both are easy to overdo, however, and that undermines the effectiveness of your psychological immune system.

Once Again, Exercise Is Key

So, what can you do to bolster optimal functionality of your psychological immune system?

First of all, you need to feel motivated.

Dr. John Ratey, associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and author of the bestselling book, Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, has a suggestion: Exercise.

“Exercise reduces stress and anxiety, and promotes a better mood — all factors that go into motivation,” Ratey says.

Of course, you also need to feel motivated to exercise and in the tug-of-war between staying fit and Netflix, that motivation can be hard to come by.

Ratey suggests doing something easy, like going for a walk every day, preferably outside, even if it’s just a short walk.

Can’t go outside? There’s an app for that. Ratey suggests downloading the free 7 Minute Workout app on your phone. “It’s all bodyweight exercises, and it activates all major muscle groups.” There are many other workout apps you could try as well.

Developing Goal-directed Behavior

There’s also something you can do to maximize the effectiveness of exercise, at least when it comes to your brain and your psychological immune system: Use exercise to help you turn goal-directed behaviors into healthier new habits while making progress towards your goals.

Having a goal is a good way to motivate yourself, but also a way to focus on those behaviors you need to make progress towards that goal.

For example, getting out of debt and becoming financially solvent requires a series of smaller steps to achieve. A good first step in that direction is to create a household budget, which is something you can work on a bit each day while social distancing.

Here’s how exercise fits in: Stress can impair your ability to undertake goal-directed behaviors by making you fall back on normal habits. If your habits are binge-watching Netflix, drinking alcohol or eating cereal late at night, stress may reinforce those less-than-ideal behaviors.

But exercise reduces stress and increases motivation. So, it’s a behavior you might undertake to achieve the goal of better cardiovascular fitness, losing weight or both. In that way, it’s a goal-directed behavior all by itself. But exercising will also help you stay motivated and focused on your other goal-directed behaviors, by reducing stress and increasing motivation.

It can help you deal with stress, self-esteem and motivation in the pandemic
By Stephen L. Antczak

You’re probably familiar with your immune system — your physiological immune system, that is. It’s the one that sends white blood cells to dispatch with pathogens. But what about your psychological immune system? This is an especially important idea to think about now, in the time of COVID-19 and social distancing.

The term “psychological immune system” was coined by psychologists Daniel Gilbert, who is probably best known for his book Stumbling on Happiness, and Timothy D. Wilson, who is known for his research on self-knowledge. But the basic concept goes back to Sigmund Freud and his ideas regarding defense mechanisms, which were elaborated on by his daughter, Anna Freud, in her book, Ego and Mechanisms of Defense. In fact, “ego defense” is, at least for our purposes, a mechanism to protect the self, or self-image, from whatever threatens it.

A good way to think about the psychological immune system is provided by Emily Rosenzweig, senior behavioral scientist at Ochsner Health, a nonprofit academic health care system in Louisiana: “A range of mental processes triggered by a threat to our sense of self-esteem, self-worth and self-concept.”

What can threaten a person’s self-image, or their self-worth? How about being referred to as a “nonessential” worker?

What can threaten a person’s self-image or self-worth? Here’s an example: being referred to as a “nonessential” worker and told to stay home, losing a significant amount of income in the process.

Positive Self Talk

Here’s where you can use your psychological immune system to help. You can tell yourself that you are valuable to society, the current pandemic situation is temporary and the lives of many others are diminished, even if just a little bit, by your absence.

You should also admit to yourself that people can still live meaningful lives without you, and that’s OK, too. It doesn’t diminish your value as a human being.

Positive self-talk can be quite helpful. However, don’t overdo it.

For example, you wouldn’t want to tell yourself that without you being there, the lives of others are completely devoid of meaning and those people are just miserable. Knowing that’s probably untrue would likely make you feel worse.

“There’s a sweet spot,” says Rosenzweig. But, she adds, “you can’t deny existing negative emotions.” If you try to completely obliterate those negative emotions, however, you’ll probably wind up feeling worse as your brain produces counterarguments that undo your attempts to make yourself feel better.

Our Commitment to Covering the Coronavirus

We are committed to reliable reporting on the risks of the coronavirus and steps you can take to benefit you, your loved ones and others in your community. Read Next Avenue’s Coronavirus Coverage.

Less-Than-Ideal Coping Mechanisms

Being aware of your psychological immune system means you’ll be better able to recognize when it kicks in.

Think about the coping mechanisms you use in a stressful situation or when dealing with the difficulties life throws at you. Do you feel better when you pour yourself a glass of wine or three? Do you avoid dealing with things by binge watching Netflix?

Avoidance is one of your psychological immune system’s tactics, even though it may not be good for you in the long run. Like your physiological immune system, your psychological immune system can opt for the short-term fix over long-term wellness.

Not that drinking one glass of wine or watching two episodes of your favorite show are counterproductive. We all need some downtime. Both are easy to overdo, however, and that undermines the effectiveness of your psychological immune system.

Once Again, Exercise Is Key

So, what can you do to bolster optimal functionality of your psychological immune system?

First of all, you need to feel motivated.

Dr. John Ratey, associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and author of the bestselling book, Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, has a suggestion: Exercise.

“Exercise reduces stress and anxiety, and promotes a better mood — all factors that go into motivation,” Ratey says.

Of course, you also need to feel motivated to exercise and in the tug-of-war between staying fit and Netflix, that motivation can be hard to come by.

Ratey suggests doing something easy, like going for a walk every day, preferably outside, even if it’s just a short walk.

Can’t go outside? There’s an app for that. Ratey suggests downloading the free 7 Minute Workout app on your phone. “It’s all bodyweight exercises, and it activates all major muscle groups.” There are many other workout apps you could try as well.

Developing Goal-directed Behavior

There’s also something you can do to maximize the effectiveness of exercise, at least when it comes to your brain and your psychological immune system: Use exercise to help you turn goal-directed behaviors into healthier new habits while making progress towards your goals.

Having a goal is a good way to motivate yourself, but also a way to focus on those behaviors you need to make progress towards that goal.

For example, getting out of debt and becoming financially solvent requires a series of smaller steps to achieve. A good first step in that direction is to create a household budget, which is something you can work on a bit each day while social distancing.

Here’s how exercise fits in: Stress can impair your ability to undertake goal-directed behaviors by making you fall back on normal habits. If your habits are binge-watching Netflix, drinking alcohol or eating cereal late at night, stress may reinforce those less-than-ideal behaviors.

But exercise reduces stress and increases motivation. So, it’s a behavior you might undertake to achieve the goal of better cardiovascular fitness, losing weight or both. In that way, it’s a goal-directed behavior all by itself. But exercising will also help you stay motivated and focused on your other goal-directed behaviors, by reducing stress and increasing motivation.

After years apart, three women renew their cherished relationships
By Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell

It’s rare for people to have friends for even a few years. In fact, a 2009 Dutch study found that half of our friends are lost after seven years.

That happened to me and my two best friends from childhood, Shelly and Lora, my “BFFs” (Best Friends Forever). Our paths diverged for many years, but we eventually did reconnect and once we did, it was like we had never been apart.

A Childhood History

I met Shelly on the first day of kindergarten. My dad encouraged a friendship since Shelly was the granddaughter of one of his best friends at work. We both met Lora in 7^th grade, when our separate elementary schools merged in junior high.

We did what teenage girls do; we went shopping, stayed at each other’s houses, had slumber parties after football games, kept each other’s most intimate secrets and even raided a parent’s liquor cabinet. We all remained good friends until after our sophomore year in high school, when our interests, classes, boyfriends and part-time work schedules began to take us in different directions.

I wanted badly to see them, so what do three 40-something women do to reconnect and reflect? We planned a slumber party at my house!

By our junior year, I saw less and less of both of them. My father died suddenly in the summer between our junior and senior year of high school and I was then thrust into helping support my mother while attending college most of the day so I could keep our survivors’ benefits (I already had enough credits to graduate high school).

Shelly had a baby and after graduation, I didn’t see my friends again. It wasn’t anything conscious, it’s just that our lives, responsibilities and priorities changed.

Reunited on Facebook

In 2007, my husband Dale and I moved from Kansas City, Kan., where we grew up, to our lake home in Arkansas, five hours away. The move, and the recent loss of my mother, made me reflect on my childhood and what had happened to my friends. As I was packing, I found letters I had written to Dale when we dated as teenagers.

Several were from a week-long summer trip my parents had taken to Lake of the Ozarks in 1980. Lora had come with us and I wrote to Dale of floating on an inner tube on the lake at night, staring at the stars and talking with Lora about our dreams, and about how much I missed him.

Reading those letters, I had the sudden urge to find my two besties from school; it actually took me a year and a half. When I started looking for Shelly and Lora, neither one was on social media, so it wasn’t easy.

On Facebook, I finally located Lora through her brother. Once we connected, Lora told me the last place she thought Shelly lived and worked. And soon, we were all once again reconnected, by email and phone. Lora still lived in our hometown of Kansas City, Kan. and Shelly only lived two hours from me in Springfield, Mo.

We all seemed giddy on phone calls and in emails to reconnect. I wanted badly to see them.

So what do three 40-something women do to reconnect and reflect? We planned a slumber party at my house!

Annual Slumber Party Weekends, Pre-Pandemic

“Aren’t you a little nervous?” Rae, a friend from my present, asked about the planned weekend with friends from my past.

“Should I be?” I asked.

“Well, twenty-seven years is a long time, you don’t really know these people anymore,” she said.

I knew she was right. But I also knew the reunion felt right — and it was. We spent two days at our house laughing, drinking around a campfire (this time, it was legal and we didn’t have to sneak the bottles from our parents’ liquor cabinets) and eating good food.

We got caught up on each other’s lives, our marriages, families, the good times, the challenging times and our losses.

Shelly had married, had two more children with her husband and then divorced. Lora married a guy we went to school with and spent time with him in Japan when he was in the military.

We all brought yearbooks and photos, and took up most of that weekend reminiscing about our school days. As Shelly put it, “We caught up twenty-seven years in about the equivalent of ten minutes.”

Afterward, Shelly sent an email when she returned home saying simply, “I need to laugh like that more often.”

“Why don’t we?” I wrote back to both of them. “We can find time at least to do this once a year.”

So, we’ve done just that, visiting each other’s homes on some trips, taking excursions to regional destinations on others. Some of these involved concerts and all involve a spa day, shopping, drinks, good food and of course, plenty of laughs.

Afterward, Shelly sent an email when she returned home saying simply, “I need to laugh like that more often.”

Since that first party in 2009, our relationships have deepened. As we’ve headed into our mid-50s, all of us have dealt with serious health scares and more traumatic losses.

Lora’s doctor found a 95% blockage in the main artery of her heart, the one commonly referred to as the “widow maker,” and had a stent successfully placed.

Shelly was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. A year later, she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and underwent thyroid removal.

I began suffering severe digestive issues and underwent six surgeries in a one-year span to repair a hernia, remove my gallbladder and thyroid, among other problems. Just as I was recovering, my husband, Dale, succumbed to that widow maker heart attack that Lora thankfully avoided.

As we have gathered so many times to laugh, we gathered in unity to help each other through our difficult times. Being in different cities makes it somewhat challenging for us to physically be there when one of us needs our longest-time besties, but we try. If one of us can’t be there with the others, at least we ensure we’re there in love and support through our calls, texts and emails.

Several years ago, we began making our annual slumber party a semi-annual one. We get together once in the spring and once in the fall for those deep belly laughs that make our sides hurt; now in light of the pandemic, we will have to put upcoming reunions on hold.

As the years have stacked up, we spend less time talking about our distant past. We still share that special bond only childhood friends can have, that knowing from where we all came and what helped shaped us. But we also have a special bond of memories we’ve made as we’ve grown older. We have catchphrases and inside jokes only the members of our tribe would laugh at and understand.

There’s a meme on social media that proclaims: “If you have a friend for more than seven years, they’re more than a friend, they become family.”

My two besties from school are more than just BFFs; as Lora says, we are all “Sissy Pops.”

By Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell

Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell is a freelance writer whose work has appeared on Forbes.com, AOL.com, Mainstreet.com, Creditcards.com, Bankrate.com and elsewhere.

After years apart, three women renew their cherished relationships
By Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell

It’s rare for people to have friends for even a few years. In fact, a 2009 Dutch study found that half of our friends are lost after seven years.

That happened to me and my two best friends from childhood, Shelly and Lora, my “BFFs” (Best Friends Forever). Our paths diverged for many years, but we eventually did reconnect and once we did, it was like we had never been apart.

A Childhood History

I met Shelly on the first day of kindergarten. My dad encouraged a friendship since Shelly was the granddaughter of one of his best friends at work. We both met Lora in 7^th grade, when our separate elementary schools merged in junior high.

We did what teenage girls do; we went shopping, stayed at each other’s houses, had slumber parties after football games, kept each other’s most intimate secrets and even raided a parent’s liquor cabinet. We all remained good friends until after our sophomore year in high school, when our interests, classes, boyfriends and part-time work schedules began to take us in different directions.

I wanted badly to see them, so what do three 40-something women do to reconnect and reflect? We planned a slumber party at my house!

By our junior year, I saw less and less of both of them. My father died suddenly in the summer between our junior and senior year of high school and I was then thrust into helping support my mother while attending college most of the day so I could keep our survivors’ benefits (I already had enough credits to graduate high school).

Shelly had a baby and after graduation, I didn’t see my friends again. It wasn’t anything conscious, it’s just that our lives, responsibilities and priorities changed.

Reunited on Facebook

In 2007, my husband Dale and I moved from Kansas City, Kan., where we grew up, to our lake home in Arkansas, five hours away. The move, and the recent loss of my mother, made me reflect on my childhood and what had happened to my friends. As I was packing, I found letters I had written to Dale when we dated as teenagers.

Several were from a week-long summer trip my parents had taken to Lake of the Ozarks in 1980. Lora had come with us and I wrote to Dale of floating on an inner tube on the lake at night, staring at the stars and talking with Lora about our dreams, and about how much I missed him.

Reading those letters, I had the sudden urge to find my two besties from school; it actually took me a year and a half. When I started looking for Shelly and Lora, neither one was on social media, so it wasn’t easy.

On Facebook, I finally located Lora through her brother. Once we connected, Lora told me the last place she thought Shelly lived and worked. And soon, we were all once again reconnected, by email and phone. Lora still lived in our hometown of Kansas City, Kan. and Shelly only lived two hours from me in Springfield, Mo.

We all seemed giddy on phone calls and in emails to reconnect. I wanted badly to see them.

So what do three 40-something women do to reconnect and reflect? We planned a slumber party at my house!

Annual Slumber Party Weekends, Pre-Pandemic

“Aren’t you a little nervous?” Rae, a friend from my present, asked about the planned weekend with friends from my past.

“Should I be?” I asked.

“Well, twenty-seven years is a long time, you don’t really know these people anymore,” she said.

I knew she was right. But I also knew the reunion felt right — and it was. We spent two days at our house laughing, drinking around a campfire (this time, it was legal and we didn’t have to sneak the bottles from our parents’ liquor cabinets) and eating good food.

We got caught up on each other’s lives, our marriages, families, the good times, the challenging times and our losses.

Shelly had married, had two more children with her husband and then divorced. Lora married a guy we went to school with and spent time with him in Japan when he was in the military.

We all brought yearbooks and photos, and took up most of that weekend reminiscing about our school days. As Shelly put it, “We caught up twenty-seven years in about the equivalent of ten minutes.”

Afterward, Shelly sent an email when she returned home saying simply, “I need to laugh like that more often.”

“Why don’t we?” I wrote back to both of them. “We can find time at least to do this once a year.”

So, we’ve done just that, visiting each other’s homes on some trips, taking excursions to regional destinations on others. Some of these involved concerts and all involve a spa day, shopping, drinks, good food and of course, plenty of laughs.

Afterward, Shelly sent an email when she returned home saying simply, “I need to laugh like that more often.”

Since that first party in 2009, our relationships have deepened. As we’ve headed into our mid-50s, all of us have dealt with serious health scares and more traumatic losses.

Lora’s doctor found a 95% blockage in the main artery of her heart, the one commonly referred to as the “widow maker,” and had a stent successfully placed.

Shelly was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. A year later, she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and underwent thyroid removal.

I began suffering severe digestive issues and underwent six surgeries in a one-year span to repair a hernia, remove my gallbladder and thyroid, among other problems. Just as I was recovering, my husband, Dale, succumbed to that widow maker heart attack that Lora thankfully avoided.

As we have gathered so many times to laugh, we gathered in unity to help each other through our difficult times. Being in different cities makes it somewhat challenging for us to physically be there when one of us needs our longest-time besties, but we try. If one of us can’t be there with the others, at least we ensure we’re there in love and support through our calls, texts and emails.

Several years ago, we began making our annual slumber party a semi-annual one. We get together once in the spring and once in the fall for those deep belly laughs that make our sides hurt; now in light of the pandemic, we will have to put upcoming reunions on hold.

As the years have stacked up, we spend less time talking about our distant past. We still share that special bond only childhood friends can have, that knowing from where we all came and what helped shaped us. But we also have a special bond of memories we’ve made as we’ve grown older. We have catchphrases and inside jokes only the members of our tribe would laugh at and understand.

There’s a meme on social media that proclaims: “If you have a friend for more than seven years, they’re more than a friend, they become family.”

My two besties from school are more than just BFFs; as Lora says, we are all “Sissy Pops.”

By Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell

Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell is a freelance writer whose work has appeared on Forbes.com, AOL.com, Mainstreet.com, Creditcards.com, Bankrate.com and elsewhere.

Creative thinking from three execs in a recent webinar on the topic
By Richard Eisenberg

Part of the The Coronavirus Outbreak: What You Need to Know Special Report

When Senior Living Foresight, a website for senior living community developers and operators, asked if I’d volunteer to host its April 24 Virtual Summit panel: How Senior Housing Is Keeping Residents Engaged in the Pandemic, I agreed. But I was a little dubious about the premise.

After all, we’re well aware of the COVID-19 problems some long-term care communities, their residents and families have been dealing with the virus’ spread; the inability of adult children to see their parents and the temporary halt to congregate dining and activities. As Senior Living Foresight publisher Steve Moran wrote in a wrap-up of the summit:“COVID-19 is hell for senior living.”

But after hearing the session’s panelists describe creative ways their businesses have recalibrated for the pandemic to excite, entertain and energize residents  — sometimes, with real  challenges — I came away pleasantly surprised. Also, I’m hopeful that these new ways of engaging residents in their 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s will continue and expand when the coronavirus fades.

A quick caveat: My panelists (and many summit speakers and attendees) represented independent living and life care retirement communities. So their residents tend to be healthier than those in nursing homes.

“We decided to actually Zoom to our residents. And I’m not going to say that’s been an easy journey,”

My panelists were Sara Kyle, director of resident experience at Holiday Retirement Senior Living Communities, which house more than 30,000 people across the country; Kelly Stranburg, wellness director at Mather and Theresa Perry, corporate director of hospitality and wellness services at Acts Retirement-Life’s 26 communities (full disclosure: Acts Retirement-Life is a sponsor of Next Avenue).

Our Commitment to Covering the Coronavirus

We are committed to reliable reporting on the risks of the coronavirus and steps you can take to benefit you, your loved ones and others in your community. Read Next Avenue’s Coronavirus Coverage.

Here’s how they answered my three questions about how they’ve engaged residents during the pandemic and expect to in the future:

What forms of engagement have you implemented for your residents during COVID-19?

Kyle first talked about what she and her colleagues stopped doing. “The whole calendar activities that we typically go off of — you could basically just toss it in the trash because it wasn’t going to work anymore,” she said.

Offering virtual web chat and conferencing services, like Zoom, has become a key way to talk to, and with, residents as well as to offer them instruction and entertainment.

“We decided to actually Zoom to our residents. And I’m not going to say that’s been an easy journey,” said Stranburg. ‘You can’t force tech on people, right?”

Initially, she said, Zoom “seemed a little scary, because we were so curious how many of our residents would actually embrace this. Where were they with their comfort when it comes to technology? And what we discovered is: shame on us.”

In fact, Stranburg noted, “every single week, we see our [Zoom] adoption numbers by our residents tick up.” Now, she added, “we’re offering a variety of exercise programs, mindfulness opportunities, art lectures and poetry groups.”

Sometimes, Mather is reaching out to lecturers and performers who’d been part of its programming before COVID-19.  “We’re figuring out ways to embrace their skillsets and talents that our residents love and bringing them into this Zoom world, if you will,” said Stranburg.

Perry echoed this (Acts uses Microsoft Teams, not Zoom), adding that staffers are helping lead the way through YouTube.

“We are definitely leaping into the virtual world as well,” she said. “We have created different ways for our staff to do videos through YouTube… When you have twenty-six communities and thirty fitness staffers, the only way you’re going to connect is through videos, because of the small classes you can have.”

Perry noted that “we have reached more people through virtual fitness than we had in the past.” Some classes are live. “Now we’re taking it to the next level, using our resident portal, and we are making the fitness videos available to do anytime they want.”

One of the panel’s attendees messaged that their community’s Zoom Bingo had gone from 22 people to 100 in two weeks — 25 of the 100 were on screen, 75 played using their phones.

The Touchtown video community engagement platform came up frequently as a huge help. “Touchtown has done a fabulous job of providing us with videos that we can upload to the in-house television, which is the channel [residents] have in their homes, which is important to them,” said Perry.

Stranburg mentioned that, in certain cases, residents who’ve embraced the new technologies during the pandemic have persuaded others to join in. She called this “the power of influence.” A resident who was first resistant might say: “My friend down the hallway called me and they were like, ‘Oh you need to do this with us. It’s really fun,’” Stranburg said.

“We have to continue to explore both sides, technology as well as non-technology for our residents.”

And, she added, “I also think the influence of family has helped. ‘Cause most certainly a lot of the residents I’ve spoken with have shared that they have done FaceTime and Zoom with a family.”

For those refusing to try the technology, some communities have launched phone groups. “They’ve been having conversations, book clubs, basically anything you can think of,” said Perry.

At Mather, Stranburg said, they use “telephone topics,” where anyone can call into the general phone line at a scheduled time to talk about the prearranged topic. Coming up: “10 tips to live well.”

Also recommended: The Institute on Aging’s 24-hour, toll-free Friendship Line, for non-emergency emotional support calls (800-971-0116).

Then there are what Perry called “boredom busters” — puzzles and games her communities hand out every week that can be done in the residents’ homes. “We have to continue to explore both sides, technology as well as non-technology for our residents,” she said.

One problem, however, has been engaging residents with hearing or cognitive issues.

What are some of the best practices you’ve discovered during the pandemic?

“Well-being calls; we call it a concierge service,” said Perry. “We had not done this before. It’s all of our staff calling our independent residents on a daily basis, seven days a week. Basically, we’re just checking in to make sure they’re all right. We’re making sure they have groceries, that they have medications, that they’re communicating with their families and friends. And how we can connect them if they need any help.”

This service also helps draw residents closer to staffers. Sometimes, when a person gets the call, Perry said, “they’re actually answering the phone saying, ‘Hi, Teresa. How are you today? I’m excited that you called me again.” Added Perry: “We’d never anticipated this.”

Stranburg said: “What I’ve really taken away from [the pandemic] is the value in making sure we continue to reinforce communication expectations.”

Kyle reflected with this: “It’s interesting what you do in crisis that you think, goodness, why didn’t we do that earlier?” One of those things Holiday Retirement began is a Bridging Generations website, where volunteers across the country are matched with residents and sign up to be buddies, communicating by phone or email. The volunteers can be any age.

Also, Kyle said, “we’ve gone to hallway activities. The doors of the hallways are absolutely six feet apart, so it’s the perfect spacing. We’re finding that people who never would come down to group exercise love hallway exercise. I saw some broomball going on.”

The pandemic has also shown senior housing operators the hidden talents of some of their staff.

“I didn’t realize we had a classical opera singer,” said Perry. “She has been creating videos for us through YouTube. She explains the opera first and then she sings it. It’s gorgeous.”

When Acts delivers food to residents each night, they add notes from children to their dinner bags.

Some Acts communities have been creating a senior housing version of American Idol. “We call it Acts idol. I love that,” said Perry. After staffers compete for three weeks, residents pick the winner. Next up: “the residents will do this with their talent,” said Perry.

There have also been some successful ideas just to brighten residents’ moods — what Kyle calls “small moments of surprise and delight.”

When Acts delivers food to residents each night, Perry said, they add notes to their dinner bags. “The one thing you’ll hear from the residents is that they get excited about the dinner meal coming because there’s going to be something exciting inside,” said Perry.

Holiday Retirement puts a small flower on dinner trays, along with a note from a staffer. “We’ve had some really emotional connections between staff and residents that have come through pretty big,” said Kyle.

What do you think will be embraced and continued beyond COVID-19?

“The young lady that’s doing the opera? She says she can’t wait for the day that she can actually do it in person, in front of everybody,” said Perry. “I think that would be something we should be tapping into. And hopefully, one day, we can have an audience again and have everybody get back together.”

Creative thinking from three execs in a recent webinar on the topic
By Richard Eisenberg

Part of the The Coronavirus Outbreak: What You Need to Know Special Report

When Senior Living Foresight, a website for senior living community developers and operators, asked if I’d volunteer to host its April 24 Virtual Summit panel: How Senior Housing Is Keeping Residents Engaged in the Pandemic, I agreed. But I was a little dubious about the premise.

After all, we’re well aware of the COVID-19 problems some long-term care communities, their residents and families have been dealing with the virus’ spread; the inability of adult children to see their parents and the temporary halt to congregate dining and activities. As Senior Living Foresight publisher Steve Moran wrote in a wrap-up of the summit:“COVID-19 is hell for senior living.”

But after hearing the session’s panelists describe creative ways their businesses have recalibrated for the pandemic to excite, entertain and energize residents  — sometimes, with real  challenges — I came away pleasantly surprised. Also, I’m hopeful that these new ways of engaging residents in their 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s will continue and expand when the coronavirus fades.

A quick caveat: My panelists (and many summit speakers and attendees) represented independent living and life care retirement communities. So their residents tend to be healthier than those in nursing homes.

“We decided to actually Zoom to our residents. And I’m not going to say that’s been an easy journey,”

My panelists were Sara Kyle, director of resident experience at Holiday Retirement Senior Living Communities, which house more than 30,000 people across the country; Kelly Stranburg, wellness director at Mather and Theresa Perry, corporate director of hospitality and wellness services at Acts Retirement-Life’s 26 communities (full disclosure: Acts Retirement-Life is a sponsor of Next Avenue).

Our Commitment to Covering the Coronavirus

We are committed to reliable reporting on the risks of the coronavirus and steps you can take to benefit you, your loved ones and others in your community. Read Next Avenue’s Coronavirus Coverage.

Here’s how they answered my three questions about how they’ve engaged residents during the pandemic and expect to in the future:

What forms of engagement have you implemented for your residents during COVID-19?

Kyle first talked about what she and her colleagues stopped doing. “The whole calendar activities that we typically go off of — you could basically just toss it in the trash because it wasn’t going to work anymore,” she said.

Offering virtual web chat and conferencing services, like Zoom, has become a key way to talk to, and with, residents as well as to offer them instruction and entertainment.

“We decided to actually Zoom to our residents. And I’m not going to say that’s been an easy journey,” said Stranburg. ‘You can’t force tech on people, right?”

Initially, she said, Zoom “seemed a little scary, because we were so curious how many of our residents would actually embrace this. Where were they with their comfort when it comes to technology? And what we discovered is: shame on us.”

In fact, Stranburg noted, “every single week, we see our [Zoom] adoption numbers by our residents tick up.” Now, she added, “we’re offering a variety of exercise programs, mindfulness opportunities, art lectures and poetry groups.”

Sometimes, Mather is reaching out to lecturers and performers who’d been part of its programming before COVID-19.  “We’re figuring out ways to embrace their skillsets and talents that our residents love and bringing them into this Zoom world, if you will,” said Stranburg.

Perry echoed this (Acts uses Microsoft Teams, not Zoom), adding that staffers are helping lead the way through YouTube.

“We are definitely leaping into the virtual world as well,” she said. “We have created different ways for our staff to do videos through YouTube… When you have twenty-six communities and thirty fitness staffers, the only way you’re going to connect is through videos, because of the small classes you can have.”

Perry noted that “we have reached more people through virtual fitness than we had in the past.” Some classes are live. “Now we’re taking it to the next level, using our resident portal, and we are making the fitness videos available to do anytime they want.”

One of the panel’s attendees messaged that their community’s Zoom Bingo had gone from 22 people to 100 in two weeks — 25 of the 100 were on screen, 75 played using their phones.

The Touchtown video community engagement platform came up frequently as a huge help. “Touchtown has done a fabulous job of providing us with videos that we can upload to the in-house television, which is the channel [residents] have in their homes, which is important to them,” said Perry.

Stranburg mentioned that, in certain cases, residents who’ve embraced the new technologies during the pandemic have persuaded others to join in. She called this “the power of influence.” A resident who was first resistant might say: “My friend down the hallway called me and they were like, ‘Oh you need to do this with us. It’s really fun,’” Stranburg said.

“We have to continue to explore both sides, technology as well as non-technology for our residents.”

And, she added, “I also think the influence of family has helped. ‘Cause most certainly a lot of the residents I’ve spoken with have shared that they have done FaceTime and Zoom with a family.”

For those refusing to try the technology, some communities have launched phone groups. “They’ve been having conversations, book clubs, basically anything you can think of,” said Perry.

At Mather, Stranburg said, they use “telephone topics,” where anyone can call into the general phone line at a scheduled time to talk about the prearranged topic. Coming up: “10 tips to live well.”

Also recommended: The Institute on Aging’s 24-hour, toll-free Friendship Line, for non-emergency emotional support calls (800-971-0116).

Then there are what Perry called “boredom busters” — puzzles and games her communities hand out every week that can be done in the residents’ homes. “We have to continue to explore both sides, technology as well as non-technology for our residents,” she said.

One problem, however, has been engaging residents with hearing or cognitive issues.

What are some of the best practices you’ve discovered during the pandemic?

“Well-being calls; we call it a concierge service,” said Perry. “We had not done this before. It’s all of our staff calling our independent residents on a daily basis, seven days a week. Basically, we’re just checking in to make sure they’re all right. We’re making sure they have groceries, that they have medications, that they’re communicating with their families and friends. And how we can connect them if they need any help.”

This service also helps draw residents closer to staffers. Sometimes, when a person gets the call, Perry said, “they’re actually answering the phone saying, ‘Hi, Teresa. How are you today? I’m excited that you called me again.” Added Perry: “We’d never anticipated this.”

Stranburg said: “What I’ve really taken away from [the pandemic] is the value in making sure we continue to reinforce communication expectations.”

Kyle reflected with this: “It’s interesting what you do in crisis that you think, goodness, why didn’t we do that earlier?” One of those things Holiday Retirement began is a Bridging Generations website, where volunteers across the country are matched with residents and sign up to be buddies, communicating by phone or email. The volunteers can be any age.

Also, Kyle said, “we’ve gone to hallway activities. The doors of the hallways are absolutely six feet apart, so it’s the perfect spacing. We’re finding that people who never would come down to group exercise love hallway exercise. I saw some broomball going on.”

The pandemic has also shown senior housing operators the hidden talents of some of their staff.

“I didn’t realize we had a classical opera singer,” said Perry. “She has been creating videos for us through YouTube. She explains the opera first and then she sings it. It’s gorgeous.”

When Acts delivers food to residents each night, they add notes from children to their dinner bags.

Some Acts communities have been creating a senior housing version of American Idol. “We call it Acts idol. I love that,” said Perry. After staffers compete for three weeks, residents pick the winner. Next up: “the residents will do this with their talent,” said Perry.

There have also been some successful ideas just to brighten residents’ moods — what Kyle calls “small moments of surprise and delight.”

When Acts delivers food to residents each night, Perry said, they add notes to their dinner bags. “The one thing you’ll hear from the residents is that they get excited about the dinner meal coming because there’s going to be something exciting inside,” said Perry.

Holiday Retirement puts a small flower on dinner trays, along with a note from a staffer. “We’ve had some really emotional connections between staff and residents that have come through pretty big,” said Kyle.

What do you think will be embraced and continued beyond COVID-19?

“The young lady that’s doing the opera? She says she can’t wait for the day that she can actually do it in person, in front of everybody,” said Perry. “I think that would be something we should be tapping into. And hopefully, one day, we can have an audience again and have everybody get back together.”

Recovers from COVID-19 in Less Than a Month
By Presbyterian SeniorCare Network

“I could not breathe and had no energy,” recalls Carol about the excruciating painful symptoms she experienced at her Tarentum home on March 31st. “When I could no longer get out of my bed to go to the bathroom, that’s when I called out to my family that they needed to get me to a hospital quickly.”

Several days earlier Carol had been to an urgent care center complaining of flu-like symptoms, where she tested negative for the flu and was encouraged to go home, rest, drink lots of water, and take some over-the-counter medications. For the healthy, active great grandmother who was used to watching her five-year-old great granddaughter three days-a-week, the speed and severity of what followed was unbelievable.

“I remember my son saying he would call an ambulance, and the ambulance workers arriving already wearing their protective equipment and taking me to the Allegheny Health Network hospital in Natrona Heights. And then I don’t remember anything else, because I was in a coma for seven days,” she explains. “I think the ambulance workers and the people at the hospital suspected COVID-19 but I don’t remember anyone saying it,” added Carol.

Carol came to learn that indeed COVID-19 was the culprit and that her family would need to be quarantined for 14 days. Fortunately, none of them developed any symptoms, not even her ailing husband who is battling stage four kidney disease.

But on Friday, April 24^th, Carol was exuberant. After leaving the hospital on April 16 and being admitted for rehabilitation services at the Presbyterian SeniorCare Network Willows skilled nursing center, she was excited about the prospect of going back to her home in Tarentum. “I’m grateful that the Willows would take someone who was recovering from COVID,” noted Carol. “I had the greatest therapists in the world to help me get back my strength and back to being myself. What I was most concerned about was the 15 steps I’d have to go up in my house. But I’m feeling pretty confident that I can do that after the steps they’ve had me doing at the Willows. I feel I can go home and be safe. They gave me exercises to do when I get home. I really feel I will be fine.”

When asked what she would want people to know about her experience, Carol was emphatic, “I experienced a lot that I never want to experience again. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. If I have to wear a mask the rest of my life, I will.” She added, “It’s a very hard thing to do all that we are asked to do but pay attention, wear your mask, don’t be so anxious to go back to the way things were. We need to be very cautious.”

Carol left the Willows of Presbyterian SeniorCare Network on Sunday, April 26^th happily wearing her mask.

Editor’s Note: Per the Presbyterian SeniorCare Network COVID-19 Admissions Guidelines, Carol was not COVID positive upon admission to the Willows on April 16^th. Previously COVID-19 positive candidates must meet certain criteria to be accepted for admission into our skilled nursing centers and, as an added precaution, are kept isolated in their rooms for 14 consecutive days and cared by team members who are wearing appropriate PPE. Also keep in mind that Carol’s experience may be different than others who have tested positive for COVID-19.

Recovers from COVID-19 in Less Than a Month
By Presbyterian SeniorCare Network

“I could not breathe and had no energy,” recalls Carol about the excruciating painful symptoms she experienced at her Tarentum home on March 31st. “When I could no longer get out of my bed to go to the bathroom, that’s when I called out to my family that they needed to get me to a hospital quickly.”

Several days earlier Carol had been to an urgent care center complaining of flu-like symptoms, where she tested negative for the flu and was encouraged to go home, rest, drink lots of water, and take some over-the-counter medications. For the healthy, active great grandmother who was used to watching her five-year-old great granddaughter three days-a-week, the speed and severity of what followed was unbelievable.

“I remember my son saying he would call an ambulance, and the ambulance workers arriving already wearing their protective equipment and taking me to the Allegheny Health Network hospital in Natrona Heights. And then I don’t remember anything else, because I was in a coma for seven days,” she explains. “I think the ambulance workers and the people at the hospital suspected COVID-19 but I don’t remember anyone saying it,” added Carol.

Carol came to learn that indeed COVID-19 was the culprit and that her family would need to be quarantined for 14 days. Fortunately, none of them developed any symptoms, not even her ailing husband who is battling stage four kidney disease.

But on Friday, April 24^th, Carol was exuberant. After leaving the hospital on April 16 and being admitted for rehabilitation services at the Presbyterian SeniorCare Network Willows skilled nursing center, she was excited about the prospect of going back to her home in Tarentum. “I’m grateful that the Willows would take someone who was recovering from COVID,” noted Carol. “I had the greatest therapists in the world to help me get back my strength and back to being myself. What I was most concerned about was the 15 steps I’d have to go up in my house. But I’m feeling pretty confident that I can do that after the steps they’ve had me doing at the Willows. I feel I can go home and be safe. They gave me exercises to do when I get home. I really feel I will be fine.”

When asked what she would want people to know about her experience, Carol was emphatic, “I experienced a lot that I never want to experience again. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. If I have to wear a mask the rest of my life, I will.” She added, “It’s a very hard thing to do all that we are asked to do but pay attention, wear your mask, don’t be so anxious to go back to the way things were. We need to be very cautious.”

Carol left the Willows of Presbyterian SeniorCare Network on Sunday, April 26^th happily wearing her mask.

Editor’s Note: Per the Presbyterian SeniorCare Network COVID-19 Admissions Guidelines, Carol was not COVID positive upon admission to the Willows on April 16^th. Previously COVID-19 positive candidates must meet certain criteria to be accepted for admission into our skilled nursing centers and, as an added precaution, are kept isolated in their rooms for 14 consecutive days and cared by team members who are wearing appropriate PPE. Also keep in mind that Carol’s experience may be different than others who have tested positive for COVID-19.

Plus: the right amount of exercise to stay healthy during the pandemic
By Sheryl Jean

Part of the The Coronavirus Outbreak: What You Need to Know Special Report

Since his gym closed, you might find Tom Hippman, 55, working out to Journey’s “Eye of the Tiger” in his Dallas living room, using whatever props he can find.

He’s been doing sit-ups against the wall, deadlifting 64-load bottles of Woolite, running through his parking garage and other exercises for 45 minutes a day.

Tom Hippman uses household items for weight training

“Being in a seven-hundred-square-foot apartment is a little more challenging,” Hippman says. “I’ve taken it on as a challenge.”

Many people are spending more time at home thanks to social distancing and shelter-in-place orders amid the coronavirus pandemic. That means some can’t go to the gym or group classes to stay fit like they usually would.

“With coronavirus out there, there’s a tendency not to exercise, but now it’s even more important,” says Dr. Rajiv Misquitta, director of lifestyle medicine at Kaiser Permanente Medical Center in South Sacramento, Calif. “If people don’t have a [fitness] plan at home, they’ll become sedentary and that will affect their health.”

Regular exercise is important to keep your body and mind healthy. But you don’t need a gym, expensive equipment, special clothing or a large space to do many activities at home.

Exercise, But Not Too Much

Adults typically should get at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise a week, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. But it’s different during this coronavirus pandemic, says Tamara Hew-Butler, an associate professor of exercise and sports science at Wayne State University in Detroit.

Instead, Hew-Butler recommends 20 to 45 minutes of moderate exercise three times a week. People, however, can modify that guidance according to their normal fitness routines. But exercise no more than five times a week and no exercise if you have flu-like symptoms, Hew-Butler adds.

To replicate your gym workout, replace your usual equipment with household items, such as canned food for barbells or a bowling ball instead of a medicine ball.

Research on the response of the body’s immune system to exercise shows moderate exercise is “the sweet spot” and inactivity or exercising too much can increase your risk of respiratory viruses, says Hew-Butler, an avid runner. The goal during a pandemic, she explains, is to maintain your fitness level, not increase it.

How do you know if you’re overdoing it? Listen to your body. Extreme soreness, pain or fatigue are probably signs you’re exercising too much.

Stick to an Exercise Routine

Squats work muscles from your feet to your core

Create an exercise routine. Make it simple, so you’ll achieve your goals and want to keep exercising.

Older adults should combine moderate aerobic activity with balance and muscle-strengthening (at least twice a week) exercises. Balance and muscle mass deteriorate as people age.

To mirror your gym workout at home, replace your usual equipment with household items, such as canned food for barbells or a bowling ball instead of a medicine ball.

Erika Nelson of St. Paul, Minn., often rearranges the living room furniture or moves her car out of the garage to perform exercises, yoga and Pilates. She does tricep dips with a chair and jumps off her deck.

Nelson, 54, says staying active is important to her.

“I really need it for my brain more than my body,” she says. “I push myself to do it, and I always feel better after.”

Our Commitment to Covering the Coronavirus

We are committed to reliable reporting on the risks of the coronavirus and steps you can take to benefit you, your loved ones and others in your community. Read Next Avenue’s Coronavirus Coverage.

Staying Motivated

Exercising at home can be challenging without equipment, an enthusiastic coach and team support. But it doesn’t mean you can’t interact with others. Talk to your trainer or workout buddies by phone and with video chat apps.

Another idea: Get into a little competition with friends on your number of daily steps or push-ups, suggests Misquitta, who is a certified personal trainer.

Mix various activities to keep things interesting or try something new. Think about what you enjoy: Gardening and dancing count as aerobic exercises, too.

If you need a little inspiration, you’ll find many online resources, such as yoga videos on YouTube and digital music services, like Spotify.

Track Your Progress

Stay motivated and accountable by tracking your activity. Wear a fitness tracker, use mobile apps to track your exercise regimen or simply write down what you do (number of steps or repetitions, your heart rate) on a calendar to see your progress week to week.

Exercises to Try

The following simple exercises don’t require special equipment. The how-to links for them are from the American Council on Exercise website, and the yoga poses are from the Yoga Journal website.

Cardiovascular training:

The National Association of Sports Medicine recommends cardiovascular training three to five times a week or one to three times a week for beginners.

“You want to get your heart rate up a little bit, get warm and start sweating,” Misquitta says. He suggests walking or jogging in place while watching television, walking up and down stairs, dancing or doing jumping jacks.

Core (abdominal muscles):

• Ab crunches: This provides similar benefits as sit-ups with less strain on your neck and back.
• Planks: While planks focus on the core muscles of your abdomen and lower back, they really work the whole body. You can start on your knees or place your elbows on a hassock or couch.
• Trunk rotations: This exercise usually is done with a medicine ball, but you can use a household item, like a heavy book. Start with two pounds and gradually increase the weight.

Upper body:

• Push-ups: In addition to upper-body muscles, push-ups work your core. If you can’t do push-ups on your toes, start on your knees or plant your feet against a wall.
• Bicep curls: You can use water bottles or jugs of laundry soap instead of barbells.

Lower body:

• Squats: Misquitta says squats give you the most bang for your buck. Squats work muscles from your feet to your butt and your core. Use a chair for support.
• Lunges: This exercise also strengthens abs and improves balance and mobility. First, you may want to become comfortable doing a single-leg stand. Later, extend your arms toward the front or hold weights for a greater challenge.

Yoga poses for balance:

• Chair pose: It also strengthens the lower back and arm and leg muscles.

Tree pose: Beginners can stand near a wall for support. Extend your arms toward the ceiling for more intensity.

Plus: the right amount of exercise to stay healthy during the pandemic
By Sheryl Jean

Part of the The Coronavirus Outbreak: What You Need to Know Special Report

Since his gym closed, you might find Tom Hippman, 55, working out to Journey’s “Eye of the Tiger” in his Dallas living room, using whatever props he can find.

He’s been doing sit-ups against the wall, deadlifting 64-load bottles of Woolite, running through his parking garage and other exercises for 45 minutes a day.

Tom Hippman uses household items for weight training

“Being in a seven-hundred-square-foot apartment is a little more challenging,” Hippman says. “I’ve taken it on as a challenge.”

Many people are spending more time at home thanks to social distancing and shelter-in-place orders amid the coronavirus pandemic. That means some can’t go to the gym or group classes to stay fit like they usually would.

“With coronavirus out there, there’s a tendency not to exercise, but now it’s even more important,” says Dr. Rajiv Misquitta, director of lifestyle medicine at Kaiser Permanente Medical Center in South Sacramento, Calif. “If people don’t have a [fitness] plan at home, they’ll become sedentary and that will affect their health.”

Regular exercise is important to keep your body and mind healthy. But you don’t need a gym, expensive equipment, special clothing or a large space to do many activities at home.

Exercise, But Not Too Much

Adults typically should get at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise a week, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. But it’s different during this coronavirus pandemic, says Tamara Hew-Butler, an associate professor of exercise and sports science at Wayne State University in Detroit.

Instead, Hew-Butler recommends 20 to 45 minutes of moderate exercise three times a week. People, however, can modify that guidance according to their normal fitness routines. But exercise no more than five times a week and no exercise if you have flu-like symptoms, Hew-Butler adds.

To replicate your gym workout, replace your usual equipment with household items, such as canned food for barbells or a bowling ball instead of a medicine ball.

Research on the response of the body’s immune system to exercise shows moderate exercise is “the sweet spot” and inactivity or exercising too much can increase your risk of respiratory viruses, says Hew-Butler, an avid runner. The goal during a pandemic, she explains, is to maintain your fitness level, not increase it.

How do you know if you’re overdoing it? Listen to your body. Extreme soreness, pain or fatigue are probably signs you’re exercising too much.

Stick to an Exercise Routine

Squats work muscles from your feet to your core

Create an exercise routine. Make it simple, so you’ll achieve your goals and want to keep exercising.

Older adults should combine moderate aerobic activity with balance and muscle-strengthening (at least twice a week) exercises. Balance and muscle mass deteriorate as people age.

To mirror your gym workout at home, replace your usual equipment with household items, such as canned food for barbells or a bowling ball instead of a medicine ball.

Erika Nelson of St. Paul, Minn., often rearranges the living room furniture or moves her car out of the garage to perform exercises, yoga and Pilates. She does tricep dips with a chair and jumps off her deck.

Nelson, 54, says staying active is important to her.

“I really need it for my brain more than my body,” she says. “I push myself to do it, and I always feel better after.”

Our Commitment to Covering the Coronavirus

We are committed to reliable reporting on the risks of the coronavirus and steps you can take to benefit you, your loved ones and others in your community. Read Next Avenue’s Coronavirus Coverage.

Staying Motivated

Exercising at home can be challenging without equipment, an enthusiastic coach and team support. But it doesn’t mean you can’t interact with others. Talk to your trainer or workout buddies by phone and with video chat apps.

Another idea: Get into a little competition with friends on your number of daily steps or push-ups, suggests Misquitta, who is a certified personal trainer.

Mix various activities to keep things interesting or try something new. Think about what you enjoy: Gardening and dancing count as aerobic exercises, too.

If you need a little inspiration, you’ll find many online resources, such as yoga videos on YouTube and digital music services, like Spotify.

Track Your Progress

Stay motivated and accountable by tracking your activity. Wear a fitness tracker, use mobile apps to track your exercise regimen or simply write down what you do (number of steps or repetitions, your heart rate) on a calendar to see your progress week to week.

Exercises to Try

The following simple exercises don’t require special equipment. The how-to links for them are from the American Council on Exercise website, and the yoga poses are from the Yoga Journal website.

Cardiovascular training:

The National Association of Sports Medicine recommends cardiovascular training three to five times a week or one to three times a week for beginners.

“You want to get your heart rate up a little bit, get warm and start sweating,” Misquitta says. He suggests walking or jogging in place while watching television, walking up and down stairs, dancing or doing jumping jacks.

Core (abdominal muscles):

• Ab crunches: This provides similar benefits as sit-ups with less strain on your neck and back.
• Planks: While planks focus on the core muscles of your abdomen and lower back, they really work the whole body. You can start on your knees or place your elbows on a hassock or couch.
• Trunk rotations: This exercise usually is done with a medicine ball, but you can use a household item, like a heavy book. Start with two pounds and gradually increase the weight.

Upper body:

• Push-ups: In addition to upper-body muscles, push-ups work your core. If you can’t do push-ups on your toes, start on your knees or plant your feet against a wall.
• Bicep curls: You can use water bottles or jugs of laundry soap instead of barbells.

Lower body:

• Squats: Misquitta says squats give you the most bang for your buck. Squats work muscles from your feet to your butt and your core. Use a chair for support.
• Lunges: This exercise also strengthens abs and improves balance and mobility. First, you may want to become comfortable doing a single-leg stand. Later, extend your arms toward the front or hold weights for a greater challenge.

Yoga poses for balance:

• Chair pose: It also strengthens the lower back and arm and leg muscles.

Tree pose: Beginners can stand near a wall for support. Extend your arms toward the ceiling for more intensity.

As people shelter in place, more are using smart devices to reach loved ones
By Michelle V. Rafter

By Michelle V. Rafter

Michelle V. Rafter is a Portland, Oregon, business reporter and long-time chronicler of the intersection of technology and work.

As people shelter in place, more are using smart devices to reach loved ones
By Michelle V. Rafter

By Michelle V. Rafter

Michelle V. Rafter is a Portland, Oregon, business reporter and long-time chronicler of the intersection of technology and work.

A variety of techniques can help calm the mind for better sleep
By Patricia Corrigan

Part of the The Coronavirus Outbreak: What You Need to Know Special Report

Sleep is always important for good health, and that’s especially true in this challenging time. When you rest well, you’re better equipped to face the day. But right now, in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, heightened anxiety and unstructured time may cause insomnia even in those accustomed to a full night’s sleep.

That’s not good, for more than the obvious reason.

“It’s possible that sleep plays a role in strengthening the immune system and its response to infection,” says Dr. Rachel Darken, the sleep medicine fellowship director in the Department of Neurology at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis. “That could be part of the reason why sleep has been preserved in our evolutionary development.”

These days, many people who are used to going to work and living active lives are spending more time at home, and that has consequences. Darken says that scientists think there is a “bi-directional relationship” between insomnia and anxiety.

“Anxiety influences sleep and sleep deprivation influences anxiety — they feed on each other.”

“Anxiety influences sleep and sleep deprivation influences anxiety — they feed on each other,” she says. And, “even if you’re not particularly anxious about the new coronavirus, the disruption in your routine can lead to difficulty sleeping,” Darken adds.

More bad news for insomniacs: Losing sleep can lead to a level of immune dysregulation, “a kind of pre-inflammatory situation,” Darken says. “That can put the body in a bad state and keep it from responding appropriately to infection or make you more prone to chronic diseases. That’s not good for you.”

An Expert’s Tips on How to Sleep Better

What can you do about insomnia?

First, establish a routine, even if there is no reason to get up or go to bed at your usual time each day. “It’s important to maintain consistency,” Darken notes. “That may decrease some anxiety and help you sleep better.”

She also recommends these standard “sleep hygiene” practices:

• Spend time in the sunlight or use a lightbox (of 5,000 lux or higher) each day
• Exercise early in the day
• Reserve your bedroom for sleep
• Spend time winding down before bedtime
• Put clocks out of sight once you’re tucked in

At the end of your day, Darken suggests, keep the lights dim and avoid anything that involves the outside world. That means social media, news reports and emails. Read a book, she says, take a relaxing bath or listen to music you enjoy or a soothing podcast.

Our Commitment to Covering the Coronavirus

We are committed to reliable reporting on the risks of the coronavirus and steps you can take to benefit you, your loved ones and others in your community. Read Next Avenue’s Coronavirus Coverage.

“Maybe your mind is going all day, being anxious about the virus, your bank account or whether you will run out of toilet paper, but it’s not helpful to think about all this at bedtime,” Darken says. “If you start to think about your anxieties, tell yourself to stop, that you’ll think about them tomorrow instead, say at 10 a.m.”

Set Aside a ‘Worry Hour’

Leslie Davenport agrees. A licensed integrative psychotherapist based in Tacoma, Wash., Davenport recommends setting aside a “worry hour” each day to address anxieties.

“That helps us develop a strength, just as you would strengthen a muscle, over our mental habits,” she says. “Designate a specific time to let yourself be with your fears, a time when you can write, think or talk with a friend. That allows you to honor your feelings and give them an outlet, and it also gives you more influence over your feelings.”

If your mind is reluctant to restrict gloomy thoughts to just an hour each day, Davenport cautions, you’re not likely to get a good night’s sleep even if you follow the recommended sleep hygiene steps.

She recommends staying attuned throughout the day to when your mind starts to race and then “reeling yourself back” to the present moment.

Davenport offers this metaphor: “If you’re driving 60 miles per hour all day, you don’t keep going at that speed as you pull into your garage,” she says. “Whenever you catch yourself making up a doom story about the future, slow down. Try to let go of projecting, and just be in the moment.”

That can be a challenge, especially because we’re all subject to the “negativity bias,” Davenport says. “Research shows our brains are more tuned in to bad news than good news. And a negative event is amplified five times over a positive one in terms of how our brains or bodies react. That’s another reason why being intentional at this time is so important, so we can get our thoughts and feelings back to a neutral place.”

Try Relaxation Exercises Just Before Bed

A master yoga teacher based in Oakland, Calif., Margi Young teaches classes, trains yoga teachers and leads retreats all over the world. But sometimes, when she slides under the covers at night, her fears for the future rise up.

“Just as we lie down, ready for sleep, sometimes our minds wake up and race toward terrifying thoughts,” Young says. “It’s so easy to put ourselves in a contorted posture and start catastrophizing.”

Young knows how to call a halt to that and her tips are useful for anyone, whether or not you’ve ever practiced yoga. “To calm anxiety and avoid insomnia,” Young says, “I recommend a quieting of the body and the mind through a yoga pose called “shavasana,” which brings mindful relaxation.”

You can do the pose on the floor or in your bed. “With a pillow under your head, lie on your back in a neutral position, with your arms resting slightly away from your body and your legs a little apart,” Young says. “Then scan your body, noticing places that feel tense. Let that tension release until you feel your body softening, melting into the bed or the floor.”

Next, Young recommends, pay attention to your breathing. “This is science; breathing mindfully helps calm your nervous system and helps slow your heart rate and your metabolism,” she says. “Inhale deeply to a count of four, breathing all the way to your fingertips and to the tips of your toes. Then exhale to a count of six. Do this six times, and you should feel yourself sinking into sleep.”

Some people fall asleep easily enough, but awaken long before morning. Others can’t get back to sleep after getting up at night to use the bathroom. “That’s when I always want to think terrifying thoughts, but I make myself breathe with the longer exhale again,” Young says. “Without fail, I put myself back to sleep.”

Rest well.

By Patricia Corrigan

Patricia Corrigan is a professional journalist, with decades of experience as a reporter and columnist at a metropolitan daily newspaper, and a book author. She now enjoys a lively freelance career, writing for numerous print and on-line publications. Read more from Patricia on her blog.

A variety of techniques can help calm the mind for better sleep
By Patricia Corrigan

Part of the The Coronavirus Outbreak: What You Need to Know Special Report

Sleep is always important for good health, and that’s especially true in this challenging time. When you rest well, you’re better equipped to face the day. But right now, in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, heightened anxiety and unstructured time may cause insomnia even in those accustomed to a full night’s sleep.

That’s not good, for more than the obvious reason.

“It’s possible that sleep plays a role in strengthening the immune system and its response to infection,” says Dr. Rachel Darken, the sleep medicine fellowship director in the Department of Neurology at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis. “That could be part of the reason why sleep has been preserved in our evolutionary development.”

These days, many people who are used to going to work and living active lives are spending more time at home, and that has consequences. Darken says that scientists think there is a “bi-directional relationship” between insomnia and anxiety.

“Anxiety influences sleep and sleep deprivation influences anxiety — they feed on each other.”

“Anxiety influences sleep and sleep deprivation influences anxiety — they feed on each other,” she says. And, “even if you’re not particularly anxious about the new coronavirus, the disruption in your routine can lead to difficulty sleeping,” Darken adds.

More bad news for insomniacs: Losing sleep can lead to a level of immune dysregulation, “a kind of pre-inflammatory situation,” Darken says. “That can put the body in a bad state and keep it from responding appropriately to infection or make you more prone to chronic diseases. That’s not good for you.”

An Expert’s Tips on How to Sleep Better

What can you do about insomnia?

First, establish a routine, even if there is no reason to get up or go to bed at your usual time each day. “It’s important to maintain consistency,” Darken notes. “That may decrease some anxiety and help you sleep better.”

She also recommends these standard “sleep hygiene” practices:

• Spend time in the sunlight or use a lightbox (of 5,000 lux or higher) each day
• Exercise early in the day
• Reserve your bedroom for sleep
• Spend time winding down before bedtime
• Put clocks out of sight once you’re tucked in

At the end of your day, Darken suggests, keep the lights dim and avoid anything that involves the outside world. That means social media, news reports and emails. Read a book, she says, take a relaxing bath or listen to music you enjoy or a soothing podcast.

Our Commitment to Covering the Coronavirus

We are committed to reliable reporting on the risks of the coronavirus and steps you can take to benefit you, your loved ones and others in your community. Read Next Avenue’s Coronavirus Coverage.

“Maybe your mind is going all day, being anxious about the virus, your bank account or whether you will run out of toilet paper, but it’s not helpful to think about all this at bedtime,” Darken says. “If you start to think about your anxieties, tell yourself to stop, that you’ll think about them tomorrow instead, say at 10 a.m.”

Set Aside a ‘Worry Hour’

Leslie Davenport agrees. A licensed integrative psychotherapist based in Tacoma, Wash., Davenport recommends setting aside a “worry hour” each day to address anxieties.

“That helps us develop a strength, just as you would strengthen a muscle, over our mental habits,” she says. “Designate a specific time to let yourself be with your fears, a time when you can write, think or talk with a friend. That allows you to honor your feelings and give them an outlet, and it also gives you more influence over your feelings.”

If your mind is reluctant to restrict gloomy thoughts to just an hour each day, Davenport cautions, you’re not likely to get a good night’s sleep even if you follow the recommended sleep hygiene steps.

She recommends staying attuned throughout the day to when your mind starts to race and then “reeling yourself back” to the present moment.

Davenport offers this metaphor: “If you’re driving 60 miles per hour all day, you don’t keep going at that speed as you pull into your garage,” she says. “Whenever you catch yourself making up a doom story about the future, slow down. Try to let go of projecting, and just be in the moment.”

That can be a challenge, especially because we’re all subject to the “negativity bias,” Davenport says. “Research shows our brains are more tuned in to bad news than good news. And a negative event is amplified five times over a positive one in terms of how our brains or bodies react. That’s another reason why being intentional at this time is so important, so we can get our thoughts and feelings back to a neutral place.”

Try Relaxation Exercises Just Before Bed

A master yoga teacher based in Oakland, Calif., Margi Young teaches classes, trains yoga teachers and leads retreats all over the world. But sometimes, when she slides under the covers at night, her fears for the future rise up.

“Just as we lie down, ready for sleep, sometimes our minds wake up and race toward terrifying thoughts,” Young says. “It’s so easy to put ourselves in a contorted posture and start catastrophizing.”

Young knows how to call a halt to that and her tips are useful for anyone, whether or not you’ve ever practiced yoga. “To calm anxiety and avoid insomnia,” Young says, “I recommend a quieting of the body and the mind through a yoga pose called “shavasana,” which brings mindful relaxation.”

You can do the pose on the floor or in your bed. “With a pillow under your head, lie on your back in a neutral position, with your arms resting slightly away from your body and your legs a little apart,” Young says. “Then scan your body, noticing places that feel tense. Let that tension release until you feel your body softening, melting into the bed or the floor.”

Next, Young recommends, pay attention to your breathing. “This is science; breathing mindfully helps calm your nervous system and helps slow your heart rate and your metabolism,” she says. “Inhale deeply to a count of four, breathing all the way to your fingertips and to the tips of your toes. Then exhale to a count of six. Do this six times, and you should feel yourself sinking into sleep.”

Some people fall asleep easily enough, but awaken long before morning. Others can’t get back to sleep after getting up at night to use the bathroom. “That’s when I always want to think terrifying thoughts, but I make myself breathe with the longer exhale again,” Young says. “Without fail, I put myself back to sleep.”

Rest well.

By Patricia Corrigan

Patricia Corrigan is a professional journalist, with decades of experience as a reporter and columnist at a metropolitan daily newspaper, and a book author. She now enjoys a lively freelance career, writing for numerous print and on-line publications. Read more from Patricia on her blog.